I have to regularly keep an indicative log in an exercise book about how I’m feeling. I suggest everyone with issues starts to do that.
Ie: Sat 29/9 Feel like I don’t want to get out of bed. Like I could explode. Keep thinking of everything I should do. Stuck in fight or flight apprehension loop. Stuck and frustrated.
And the entries arn’t every day, but I have to make enough to give a clear indication of what I am asking to be fixed. My mistake 9 years ago was I expected my psychiatrist to draw the info out of me. It doesn’t work that way. You learn that you have to document your issues. In the case of your psychiatrist, all the FEELINGS you feel are OTT, and in the case of your psychologist, the ISSUES you feel are OTT.
Personally I’m trying to combine the exercise book I keep for my shrink with my psych because it would be much easier. But one wants to know inappropriate ideas, the other inappropriate feelings. Yes they are related, but you are suipposed to tell THEM what help you need. This is the problem. Compared to normal GP doctoring where you show them a rash around your genetallia, and they run the show, this is way different. YOU run the show. YOU have to explain what the problem is because it’s not physical. You basically drive your own treatment. It is so different from how physical medicine is practiced. It feels awkward, even complaining and manipulative, at first.
In my case, I keep quantifyling the degree and nature of my “frantic” or “cluttered” thoughts and he keeps reassuring me that an increase in my “Prozac” dose can help, and every two weeks we have upped it from half a tablet (10mg) to now, 40mg (two tabs) per day and I have been reporting some really quantifiable differences in how my mental frustration has relaxed. At first it was my severe depressed states reduced on half a tablet, but at two tablets (40mg) it’s now actually reducing my ADHD symptoms. I would certainly be a party to take it a bit further. I have actually taken 50mg a day now. I read 60 or even 80 is often done. In the end, you get control of your drugs. But it’s a partnership. Mutual respect and understanding.
My psychiatrist knows I want to try ADHD-specific drugs like Ritalin and/or Aderall but those are very low dose amphetamines and there seems to be a reluctance to give them to adults unless they NEED them. The irony is children can get them easier. He says the Lovan may be enough. I had doubted it but he is an expert with ADHD and the extra dose of Lovan (I prefer to just say Prozac because people know it), is actually reducing my anxiety and ADHD issues.
So far, Prozac has helped my ADHD symptoms a LOT. I am more relaxed, thinking a bit more stable which has precipitated more confidence. Hey, my thinking isn’t all over the place! I feel stronger mentally, even physically in fact. I would say it has helped me about 50% or more. I really noticed the difference when going up to 2 x 20mg of Lovan. I’m thinking a dosage up to 60mg might be ideal, but it’s a negotiation with your doctor. That’s how it works.
Whether I THEN get to try Ritalin or Adderall, I don’t know, but I expect to remain 50% partner (not more) in this project and I expect to argue for testing some ADHD drugs, but, I’m afraid to say, the antidepressant is going a LONG way to helping address the problem.
As my Dr Barry has explained to be, with the SSRI to normalise my serotonin, I may be able to handle my foot-loose mind again. It doesn’t have to be a matter of slowing the thoughts down as much as strengthening my ability to manage it. At the time he said that, I was just wishing I could get some ADHD medication to slow things down, but as time goes on, he is correct. I am feeling more empowered to manage my brain. I’m starting to feel like I’m running it instead of it running me.
And that’s merely using a good dose of Prozac to re-empower the brain so more normal serotonin exists. Ie: so I have as much serotonin in my brain as my peers. It’s no more of an enhancement than my pair of glasses. That’s a key people need to understand. IT’s not “drug taking” any more than wearing glasses is enhancing people’s vision.
